March 31, 2011

Four Month Old Dad

I have only been a dad for 4 months but the emotions are starting to catch up with me. I did not expect or have any idea of how emotional becoming a dad would be. It is easily one of, if not the most emotional thing that has ever happened to me in my life.

I’m sure some of this has to do with the fact that I am currently leading a mission team in Guatemala and have to be away from my family. I think the other part of it comes with feeling a sense of inadequacy, unworthiness and failure mixed with feelings of joy, humility and excitement. It’s as if looking at my son pushes me to be a better disciple, better husband, and better dad while also reminding me of the times when I have failed as all 3.

I am not perfect. Actually, I’m pretty far from it and yet I want to be for my son’s sake. I want to be the perfect example for him and know while I write this I will fail on a regular basis. Not only do I feel those other things I mentioned earlier but looking at my son also always me to see God’s grace, His hope, and His love.