Random Thoughts & Observations

These random thoughts and observations are a result of a volleyball tournament in Louisville, KY where I coached my 14yr old team and my day off today. These are in no particular order other than what came to my mind first...

• I don't mind and might even enjoy driving longer distances by myself because I get to listen to my music or the radio as loud as I like. My wife is not a big fan of a) my music and b) my music or the radio being loud while we travel together.
  
• It is a HUGE bummer to have to pay almost $4/gallon for gas but I am fortunate enough to be able to afford it but still, not fun. I like to drive w/all of my windows down even when I'm driving on the interstate but I've heard some people say doing that creates a lot of drag and lowers your average miles per gallon which leaves me with 2 options: 1. I can drive w/my A/C on or 2. sweat...neither one I'm excited about.
  
• Don't you hate it when you walk into a non-smoking hotel room and it smells like someone just put their cigarette out or when the comforter on the bed has burn marks on it?
• Though my team didn't win very many matches (technically we only won 1 match the whole weekend) it was cool to see my girls keep trying and not give up, despite some games when even I toyed with the idea. I guess it goes to show that winning really isn't everything.
  
• Tai (my wife) & I went grocery shopping this morning and again I was made aware of the weird work schedule we both have. She is a professor with a majority of night classes and I work for a church so my days off are Saturdays and Mondays. We joke about what other people must be thinking when they see us both out shopping or walking our dog in the middle of the day...on a Monday when most normal people are working.
  
• It's interesting how surrounding yourself with good people can make dealing with things that would otherwise be a burden end up being not so bad.

These are what I've come up with so far but I'll be sure to share more if any come to mind.

Tired of Me

Have you ever been so insensitive to someone that it makes you sick to your stomach but you don't realize it until it's too late? This leads to that awkward feeling of knowing that you should say 'sorry' knowing full well the other person knows it too but then the apology seems so forced and insincere that you might not say it at all.

It says a lot about us as humans that we have to teach small children to share, that being selfless is not something that comes naturally. It is hard not to be selfish and yet in those rare occasions when I find myself being sensitive to someone else's needs rather than my own, I find more joy than if I were to have gotten what I thought I wanted.

And yet my lack of sensitivity is exhausting.

Organizing God

Call me a nerd or a news junkie (and maybe they are the same thing) but I listen to NPR a lot, especially while driving in my car. Well this past week, the Pope paid a visit to the U.S. and so NPR decided to do a little segment on their noon program called Day To Day where they interviewed two high school students that were both Catholic. I just caught the end of the interview with these two students who, from what I could gather, were sharing their take on the Pope's visit and their faith. One of them made a comment along the lines of saying that "organized religion" was "not really their thing" and the other quickly added that "you don't have to go to church to be religious" pointing out that she spends time with God while praying on her bed alone in her room.

I have to admit that the whole "I'm not down with organized religion" thing is getting played out. Surely there is something better to come up with? One of the reasons I struggle with this is because I'm not exactly sure I know what it means when someone says this. Are they suggesting they would prefer religion that is chaotic, unorganized and undefined? I think there is some confusion between organized religion and traditional religion because you can be organized but not necessarily traditional. Besides, it seems a little vain to think that we could really organize or un-organize God anyways.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think you have to go to church to be a Christian but I do think that part of being a Christian is being a part of a community that strengthens and challenges your faith, which is often found through attending church. A religion that allows someone to completely internalize and individualize one's beliefs without any sort of impact on one's surroundings seems almost pointless to me...I hope I'm not being pointless.

Stuck In Our Bubbles

I'm out running some errands the other day and the first one is to an auto parts store to get a bulb for my taillight that was out. I got the bulb and figured I might as well change it right there in the parking lot because it's a beautiful afternoon and in case I got the wrong size or something before I continue with my other errands. As I'm working on changing my light I notice a lady that has just walked out of the store, got into her suburban that was parked directly next to me and start crying.

So at this point, I've got the new bulb in and am ready to leave while pretending as if I didn't notice this lady sitting in her car crying to avoid making her feel any more uncomfortable that she might already have felt. There I am, sitting in my driver's seat, engine running with more errands to run and I found myself pausing..."should I say something to her?...should I ask her if she's OK or needs any help?...but I don't want to freak her out or seem creepy"...pause...pause...I slowly put my foot on the brake, placed the car in drive and drove away.

I have struggled with this situation ever since. I know it's not fair to play the "what-if" game but I can't help but think about what the right thing to do would have been. It seems obvious to me that Jesus wouldn't have hesitated to see if the crying lady needed anything and yet I drove away because I was afraid of making her feel uncomfortable, scared, embarrassed or making me seem creepy.

Sometimes I think it's unfortunate that in the U.S. we have created such an individualized culture with impermeable personal bubbles that we find ourselves getting stuck inside our own bubble. We don't know what to do when someone is asking, hoping and maybe even begging for someone to pop the bubble...and not in some creepy way but in the compassionate, loving way that Jesus did and does. And maybe that someone that is asking, hoping or even begging for someone to burst the bubble is you or me. I've been trying to think about it that way, if it were me, would I want someone to take notice or just drive away...

Thanks for the Memories

Have you ever had that song or taste or scent that brought back a very specific memory? It was hard not to enjoy walking outside in the sunshine today and as I was doing that I was struck with a very specific memory...my many days of playing baseball growing up. The sunshine combined with a cool breeze and the smell of spring grass instantly brought me back to spitting sunflower seeds while taking infield. It seemed to just make sense to me that the Major League Baseball season is now in full swing...and being a Detroit Tigers fan, it could be a loonnngggg season.

iJesus

In a culture where you can find iPods, iTV, iPhones and all sorts of other "i" stuff and virtually all of which is customizable to fit one's personality, needs or wants I started wondering if we have become "iChristians" following an "iJesus".

Is it possible that in this culture of custimization and convenience that we have customized the message and person of Jesus? Keeping the things that we like or that seem to work for us at the time while conveniently glossing over the rest. Yeah I'll take some forgiveness, mercy, love and hope but I think I'm good on accountability and the whole serving-others thing.

In the 6th chapter of John we see this interesting exchange between Jesus and some of his disciples. They have been listening to Jesus' teachings for some time now and are overheard saying, "This stuff is hard." BINGO! It is not easy to be like Jesus, especially in a culture that is dominated by "I" but heaven forbid we turn Jesus into a bobble-head doll that nods his head up and down when it's convenient for us...

*Bobble-head doll pictured above is currently sitting on my desk

Could've Fooled Me

Oh, it did! Way to go Google for making me feel like an April Fool.

On another note, have you ever been driving somewhere and either passed someone or pulled up to a stoplight next to someone to see them sitting soooo close to the steering wheel? It seems virtually impossible that they could even fit their hands in between the wheel and their body to steer the vehicle let alone make a sharp turn. Maybe this is just where I live but I see this scenario more often than not involving a smaller woman and a much larger SUV. Made quite obvious by the figure below, sitting too close is not a good thing.

"Custom Time"

Leave it to our friends at Google for giving us the chance to even "customize" time...I'm not sure how many of you use Gmail but there is a new feature that gives users one more area of customization.

(*below is taken from Google's Gmail site as I went to check my email)

New! Gmail Custom TimeTM

Ever wish you could go back in time and send that crucial email that could have changed everything -- if only it hadn't slipped your mind? Gmail can now help you with those missed deadlines, missed birthdays and missed opportunities.

Pre-date your messages
You tell us what time you would have wanted your email sent, and we'll take care of the rest. Need an email to arrive 6 hours ago? No problem.

Mark as read or unread
Take sending emails to the past one step further. We let you make emails look like they've been read all along.

Make them count
Use your custom time stamped messages wisely -- each Gmail user gets ten per year.

Worry less
Forget your finance reports. Forget your anniversary. We'll make it look like you remembered.

(*below is taken from my wandering thoughts)

There is something about this that seems kind of dishonest or shady but maybe that's just me. I would like to think that either: a) I am mindful and/or responsible enough to remember important dates and deadlines or b) I am humble enough to own up when I miss one. But maybe I just feel that way now or 1 hour ago or 6 hours ago or last night or whenever I wrote this......

Still Looking

You broke the bonds
And you loosed the chains
Carried the cross of my shame
Oh my shame, you know I believe it.

But I still haven't found

What I'm looking for.

I was driving home tonight from a church meeting and the song "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" from the album Joshua Tree by U2 (arguable one of the greatest albums of all time) came up on my ipod's shuffle playlist. Here's a song that I have heard countless times and love belting out as loud as I can each time and every time I hear the above line from this song, it makes me stop and think.

It makes me wonder how many of us as Christians are still searching for something. It's like we are saying we believe in all the stuff we are suppose to believe in as a Christian but are looking for something more, like it's not quite enough. But what more can there really be...knowledge, wealth, fame, looks, things? Every single one of these things that most of us try to obtain leave us wanting more. There will always be someone smarter, richer, more popular, better looking or possessing more things. It's funny because when I hear this song, I try to pretend like I have the opportunity to ask Bono what more there is to be looking for than the One who "carried the cross of my shame". Are we so discontent that even this is not enough?

Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings

The Counting Crows released their newest album entitled "Saturday Nights & Sunday Mornings" this past Tuesday. I picked it up yesterday and have been spending some time with it over the past 24hrs +...

I must admit from the very beginning I am not a huge Counting Crows fan. I really like their album "Films About Ghosts" but am so-so at best about their others. I did have the opportunity to see them live last summer "headlining" a show with Collective Soul and +Live+ (who by the way, completely rocked that show out) and must admit that their showing was quite poor and boring to say the least. So, this is the baggage that I am carrying as I give their latest debut a spin.

If you are a big Counting Crows fan I have no doubt that you will love this album. With a total of 14 tracks you certainly get your money's worth of music. I feel like the album starts out strong and even somewhat rockin' as far as Counting Crows go but around track 7 it dips into a mellow rut that lasts for the next few tracks. I guess I was looking for this newest album to be mostly upbeat leaving me with the image of Adam Duritz's dreadlocks flailing all over the place but not so much. The more mellow songs showcase his distinct voice quite well but overall I think the album is somewhat lyrically weak. My favorite song on the album without question is track 2 entitled "Hanging Tree". When I first heard it I was hoping the rest of the album would be similar to this and began wondering if this would be the album to bring me around as a fan but I'm not quite "Round Here" yet.

Are We On The Same Planet?

Part of my normal routine throughout the week is listening to NPR or the BBC on my way in to work in the morning. There was a story I heard on the BBC today that left me thinking, is this really happening on the same planet that I live on? It was a story about the plight of as many as 300 Zimbabwean women working in the neighboring city of Livingston in Zambia as prostitutes. (You can check out the article from the BBC here) These are women who at one time were bankers, business owners, or policewomen who have been left with no choice but to sell themselves in order to feed their families; not just their children but grandparents, nieces and nephews that live with them because their parents have died.

I've been reminded how easy it is for me to forget that these sorts of things are happening in our world today as I drive my comfortable Volkswagen Passat anywhere I want to go, able to afford paying $3.45/gallon for gas. I find myself feeling disgusted, frustrated, saddened, angry, dumbfounded that these kinds of things are happening in this day and age. How can we say that humankind has achieved so much and sit by while things like this happen all around the world? I have to believe there is something I can do to make a difference, even if it is simply making people aware or through prayer because if I can't, then what's the point of this?

Weekend in Review

I hope everyone had a great Easter holiday. For those of you attending Christian colleges and already having your spring break it ended up being quite a nice Easter break for you (almost like a 2nd spring break with classes ending Thursday and not starting again until Tuesday morning for most people). In addition to Easter, I felt like there were a couple of things that happened over my weekend that I wanted to comment on...

Thursday
It's funny that regardless of how healthy you think you might be, a visit to the doctor can help you realize you aren't quite as in shape as you thought. Getting a call from a younger sister telling you that she is lost as the nurse steps out of the exam room does not bode well for your blood pressure once she steps back in to check it. In addition to a "slightly high blood pressure", the opportunity to get your blood taken to have your cholesterol level checked makes for a great visit. Being completely honest with you, I must admit that I was somewhat discouraged as my results showed my cholesterol to be lower than last year but still higher than I expected it to be. I was bummed because I thought I had worked fairly hard over the past year to eat better and stay more active but still not enough I guess...

Friday
Good Friday means the office is closed when you work for a church.

Saturday
Spent some time getting things ready for church the next day and had the opportunity to grab some dinner and hang out with some college students that I haven't seen for a while and that I have missed. It's fun to be away from people for however long only to get together and have it seem like you just saw them yesterday.

Easter Sunday
Easter tends to be a pretty busy morning when you work for a church but it was good to see a lot of people come out for worship. If you stop and think about it (and maybe you already have), Christianity would either not exist or be really lame if it wasn't for the Resurrection of Jesus. Seriously, without that major event in history we would pretty much be nothing. Thank God He's Alive!

Sunday evening I caught The History Channel's very informative and well done show called "Crucifixion". Trying to even begin to imagine the amount of pain involved in this method of execution is nearly impossible. While I've read and studied the method used to kill Jesus, I felt like the medical experts on this program did a great job of explaining what was likely taking place in Jesus' body as He hung on the cross. It brought a new perspective on the significance of Jesus being God incarnate.

Maundy Madness

Maundy Thursday...the day we remember the last meal Jesus had with His disciples before His crucifixion. They were hanging out in an upper room celebrating the Passover meal together even while Jesus knew that one of His closest followers was in the process of betraying Him. If you ask me, I think it shows a ridiculous amount of love, forgiveness and acceptance but that might just be me...

And on the Madness side of things...You know it's officially March Madness when you were really hoping that Belmont was going to upset Duke as a 15 seed because upsets like that are always sweet to watch. Regardless of who you may have picked to win in your bracket.

Taking Account...

What if you were held accountable for every stupid thing someone in your life said or worse yet, what if everyone else was held accountable for every stupid thing you or I said? It seems rather unfair to put the consequences of someone else's words or actions onto another person, especially when there is nothing you can do to determine what will be said or done.

Yesterday Sen. Obama gave a speech addressing some of the things his former pastor said in a couple of his sermons a number of years ago. Sen. Obama shared that he did not agree with the way some of the racial issues had been preached from the pulpit by his former pastor. What seems unfair to me is that people have called on Sen. Obama to take account for those words spoken by another individual as if somehow they were his words, ideas or beliefs. It would be equally unfair to think that Sen. Clinton should be held accountable for her husband's unfaithfulness in marriage while he served as President. It's not as though we are talking about children but grown adults that are making their own choices, both in word and deed and I sit here wondering at what point will people be held accountable for their own words and actions?

The Greatest Week

Holy Week is here and with it comes thoughts of Jesus' last week before His death. I must admit that when I think about all that took place during these few days I can only imagine how completely exhausted Jesus must have been...physically, emotionally, spiritually and yet still He remained obedient, faithful and forgiving.

I hope that Holy Week touches you in a way it never has before. I pray that the events of this week in Jesus' life impact you in such a way that your life can never be the same.

A Force To Reckon With

We find ourselves witness again to another public figure that has been caught up in a scandal that has cost him his elected position, no doubt hurt his family and could possibly land him in jail. I find myself feeling sorry for Gov. Eliot Spitzer's family especially but also for him as he now deals with the guilt, regret, shame and hurt caused by his choices. I bet given the chance, if he hasn't already, he would admit that those choices were not worth all that he and his family now face.

This most recent display of infidelity has caused me to think about the strength of the human sex drive. The desire to be physically involved with another person in a sensual way is not limited to any specific age, gender, race or class. And if you stop and think about all of the different ways our culture uses our sex drive to market things, then it becomes obvious that it can be a powerful force. It is not an uncommon thing to see someone trade their reputation, job, friendships, or family life, among other things, for some sort of sexual encounter only afterwards to realize it wasn't and isn't worth it.

Why is sex such a driving force in our culture and society? Why does it cause people to be or do things that otherwise they would never be or do? There are times when it seems as though we have lost all control of our bodies and what's really scary, our culture says it's "Ok" or "normal". Like when you see statistics that 1 in 4 teenage girls has an STD (read article here) and think that seems outrageously high but then hear experts say that isn't any higher than what previous tests have shown as "normal". I mean seriously, at what point are we going to realize that something has to happen in our culture to change this trend?

Now don't get me wrong, I know that appropriate physical contact in the appropriate relationship is fun and even feels good....for a while. It's not as if that feeling goes on for days and days (I'm not a doctor but I'm guessing if it does go on for days and days you might want to see one) so take a second to really think through if your physical actions are worth the emotional, spiritual, social, physical, mental impact on you, your friends, your family, the other person's friends, the other person's family and of course the other person. It seems all to often we are willing to trade the things we have worked so hard to build and uphold; ie. reputation, witness, health, values, career, family, friendships for something that is so temporary and fleeting.

God created sex and He created it to be a good thing (in the right time and place) but He doesn't expect us to be obsessed with it or have it be the driving force in our lives. Sometimes I laugh when I hear people say they are not down with following Jesus because there are too many rules, as if Jesus just arbitrarily picked some things He knew we might like to do and then tells us that we can't do them..."Oh man, I bet they would really love and have fun doing this. I'm going to tell them they can't. Perfect!" Is it possible that there is some wisdom in Jesus' teaching of waiting to have sex until you are in a committed marital relationship? Putting all faith things aside for a second, it would seem that Jesus is making the point that sexual relations involve so much more than the physical but is also mental, social, and emotional as well. What better way to lessen the chance of hurt, shame, regret, guilt, mistrust, disease, etc. than to experience sexual relations in the confines of marriage because otherwise, I'm not so sure it's worth it.

So What Are You Doing About It?

I was reading the story of Jonah the other day (you know, the guy that gets swallowed by a giant fish for 3 days...) and something hit me that I had never noticed before. At the end of the story, in chapter 4, Jonah is upset because the vine that had been giving him shade died though he didn't do anything to cultivate or keep it healthy. And then God asks him if he has any right to be upset about the vine...

So I'm sitting here wondering how many times we have noticed something that has upset us or seen something in someone else that we know is not healthy and yet we did nothing. We get frustrated with the choices we see others make but we do nothing to cultivate a relationship or encourage growth, instead we sit there upset and wonder why it has to be this way. Now, if I may, I am going to take this to another level and ask what this means in regards to the witness of our faith. If Jesus hasn't transformed your life yet, let me know but if He has, then what are you doing when you see someone that desperately needs to meet Him? Are you like Jonah sitting there upset because the vine died though he did nothing to keep it alive?

A Half-Empty Day

Have you ever had those days when things just seemed to be more bad than good? Or when your outlook on things seemed to notice the emptiness of the glass rather than any amount of its fullness? Today was kind of like that for me as I sat in the waiting room while the oil in my car was being changed and had to witness what should be one of the biggest embarrassments for all of mankind, the Jerry Springer Show...I really have nothing more to say about that.

On my drive in to the office and my daily update of news once at my desk, I found myself disheartened by what I heard and read more so than I can remember in recent history. I've been staying pretty faithful to my not-really-a-new-year's-resolution of being aware of current events not just in our country but around the world so it's not as if I haven't seen similar stories of injustice, death, war, etc but for whatever reason it hit me a little harder today. Rising gas prices which lead to higher prices for food, talk of inflation and recession, war, innocent college students being murdered, over 120 people killed in an Israeli raid on Gaza, at least 8 students killed at a religious school in Jerusalem and the list of things that make the glass half-empty could go on and on.

It's in these times of what seem like hopelessness when I can do nothing else but lean on the words of Jesus when he tells those who are tired, burdened and weary to find rest in him. There is no point in worrying about tomorrow since it will worry about itself, instead spend your time seeking the ways in which God's Kingdom is filling the glass today, even if it is only halfway.

My Psychological Aptitude

I'm not even sure I know exactly what that means but I spent 5hrs taking various tests downtown today as I'm working through the process to get my license as a local pastor. Sitting in a narrow room with my no.2 pencil and the 10 different tests I had to take starting at 9am and finishing at 3pm, with a short break for lunch, I was fascinated by how they can use true/false questions (mind you, 586 of them just on that 1 test) like, "I would like to be a dancer." to figure out whether or not I might be a good pastor. While it seemed like I answered the same question about being afraid of the dark 7 to 8 times, I am still amazed that they can take some seemingly pointless questions and use them to evaluate my mental state.

I guess I was reminded at how incredible the brain really is. This is not really my field of expertise but the way personality, questions and answers, reactions and responses all work together truly is remarkable. Kind of like if you have ever taken a Myers Briggs test or something similar to that answering what seem like arbitrary questions only to see the results nail your personality almost to a "T". I have an interview in April to interpret the results, I'll be sure to let you know if they come close to me or not.

New Tunes

So my music library is starting to get a little overplayed as of late and I'm in desperate need of some new music. It's been quite a while since I have gotten anything new and then my friend Neal hooked me up with an album from the band Hogeye Navvy, and I must admit I really like it. This has been just enough of a tease to get me excited about finding some new stuff to listen to. Any suggestions you have are welcome, from the more well-known artists to the not-as-well-known-yet artists, let me know what you're listening to and enjoying.